"Musings and Ramblings of A Convoluted Mind"

{June 20, 2009}   Against Better Judgement…

I’m starting the blog.  I was encouraged and intrigued by a friend starting her own blog and so here I am.  Blog created.  Being my first post, I’ve no idea what to write.  Perhaps a simple statement as to WHY I’m starting this would be a good start.

I’m dissatisfied.  I used to be content with my simple existence of being a housewife.  Well, let me clarify.  I wasn’t always a housewife.  I used to have a full time job.  A career.  I worked in an allergy clinic as a nurse.  And then my husband received orders to be stationed in Korea.  When we discovered I was pregnant I was soon to follow him to the other side of the world so we could have our family together.  Sadly, a job was not readily available for me since the hospital on post saves their nursing positions for Korean nationals.  After a discussion we decided that I should be home to raise our son for the first few years of his life verses allowing a day center to do this.  I was elated at the time that I’d get this opportunity.

It wasn’t until recently that I became discouraged with this.  Certainly, being home has been the best thing for my son but has it been the best thing for me?  Where do I fit into this equation?  At first I thought that hobbies were the answer.  I decided I was going to relearn guitar.  Too shortly after that I discovered the joys of digital photography and this was, by far, much easier than the guitar.  And addicting.  I was taking pictures of EVERYTHING.  I still do.  But my poor guitar is simply sitting in a closet and gathering dust.  It’s a shame since I still want to learn.  Perhaps when I get to the states I’ll find someone to help me learn vs. doing it on my own.  Self learning has never been my forte when it comes to things such as that.

I’m ready to return back the the USA and start back at a semblance of my old life.  Granted, nothing will ever be the same since I now have a child.    I don’t feel that working full time and leaving my sons in the capable hands of a day center is right either.  Hopefully I’ll be able to find part time work for myself.  I plan to get a Georgia or Alabama nursing license and apply to allergy clinics off post.  With two years experiance under the proverbial belt I should be a shoo in for a civilian clinic.  Less training needed.  I know the injections.  I know the testing.  I’d have excellent references.

I miss the satisfaction that comes with holding a job and earning a paycheck.  Ever since high school I’ve always held some sort of a job.  This has been hard on me.  And being home with my son hasn’t been friendly to my waistline.  I go to the gym but it doesn’t seem to help that much.  I get discouraged and give up too easily on things.  This is something I know I need to work on.

Right. I’m going to stop here for now.  I’ve gone and on when I wasn’t even sure what to write.  Funny how things start to pour out once you get going.


et cetera