"Musings and Ramblings of A Convoluted Mind"











{October 20, 2009}   Starting Over

I’ve almost been in the house for a week… furnitureless of course. I broke down after night two and purchased an air mattress. I’m sure we will need it for company until we are able to afford a bed for the guest room. The airbed is actually kinda comfortable, but then, after sleeping on the floor, almost anything could be seen as more comfortable.

David is in his second week of school and is miserable. We were able to spend time together over the weekend, which was nice, even if we spent most of it driving around post since he couldn’t leave the gates. Luckily this weekend he gets to leave post and come see the house. He is very excited to see the house with our belongings in it. I’m happy because he can be the one to hook up the tv stuff and the computers, even if we don’t have cable or Internet yet.

I’m starting to plot out an area in the back yard for a vegetable garden. I have to check with the home owners association to be sure it is allowed, but I can’t imagine why it wouldn’t be. I need to find a recycle center too since there is not a local pickup. Lots of little things to do right now, all of which would be easier with the Internet. It is stunning how reliant I have become on the computer. But sometimes it is just easier. You mention “recycle” or “organic” or “natural foods” and people here look at you as though you sprouted a second head then the go off muttering things about liberal hippies forcing their yuppie way of life on others and oh they must have voted for Obama.

…I mean… I love Alabama. Just don’t piss off the locals and pretend to be Baptist. (I can’t find a Catholic church anywhere close by.)

Now I must run. Had to take an electric cord away from Bradley because he was chewing on it and he turned on the waterworks.

So, signing off.

– The displaced yuppie Yank, Obama voting, liberal view forcing… ever inquiring, Me.

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{July 11, 2009}   Holy Moses!

Alright. First let me start with yesterday. Bradley went into daycare for two hours and I didn’t see the point in driving home only to turn around in an hour and come back to get him. So I decided to get my geek on and I took my laptop to Starbucks. I was so excited, yes, I am a dweeb. Anyway, I got my Lemongrass Tzao Tea (YUM!) and sat down to indulge in my geekage.

Not too long after a guy walks in to get something and as he is in line he sees me and smiles. I didn’t think anything of it so I smiled back. I mean, hello… I’ve been married for six years. When is the last time someone – let alone a guy- randomly smiled at me? I turned back to my geek-a-thon and the next thing I know he’s sitting down across from me and striking up a conversation. Or at least, he is trying to. I think I suddenly went retarded!

Let me take a moment to point out this this guy wasn’t an idiot or anything. I didn’t have my wedding ring on. I never wear it when I go to the gym because my hands swell and the rings get tight and then they slide with all the sweat. I never put them back on after spin class the night before. So no… he really wasn’t in the wrong by trying to chat me up.

I felt like such a… I don’t know. I was horrified! Mostly at my actions and I felt GUILTY when the guy went to meet his friend. We talked for maybe all of five minutes and I swear it felt like an hour.

I met with hubby later and he just laughed. He’s like “you are a pretty girl, of course he hit on you”. Ugh. (By the way, I’m not really all that pretty… husbands have to say that kind of thing or they don’t get any.) So lets just say, because of my reaction to this guys actions, it is still a topic of joking today. I don’t think I’ll live this one down.

On to less embarrassing news! I got a new shampoo today. It’s from Alba organics and it smells so great. I also got a skin firming lotion from the same company. Lets hope it works. Too bad all natural products cost so much!



{June 25, 2009}   Running In Circles


78/365 Running In Circles

cognitive.distortion

Another day in the gym. I switched up the cardio today and did 15 minutes on the bike and then 15 on the elliptical. Afterward I decided to try my hand (or would that be feet/legs?) on the track. Holy crap. Major difference between the machines and the track. This track is rubberized and I could tell the difference. Extra bounce.

But seriously…. BORING!!! Thank goodness for my music otherwise I’d end up quitting. The music makes all the difference. I do prefer much harder music when I run. The angrier the better too. It pushes me to do more and go further. Or course, how far can I really go in an indoor track? Ha!

So I was talking with a friend today and I realized… I tell to much about myself. Of course, being an anonymous blogger it isn’t that big of a deal. I can talk about my life if no one really knows who I am (save for the select few that do). But even in instant messages, I need to be more careful. I don’t give out credit information or anything, but I guess I don’t need for people to know everything about me. Besides, a little mystery to me wouldn’t be a bad thing.



{June 24, 2009}   Frustrated Incorporated


77/365 Anything But Love

cognitive.distortion

I am so tired today and I’m not sure why. I’ve done my share of running around, took the baby to the doctors, had to get an eye exam myself, got new contacts and glasses, met hubby for lunch… by the time I got home I was bushed. And I haven’t even gotten to the gym yet! Today is a late day for the gym since Bradley isn’t in daycare today.

I just don’t feel motivated today. In face, this picture for today was a last resort (but I think it came out pretty well actually). I just wanted to show a friend the cute ring I got for myself. Sadly the batteries died in the camera died before I could really take any more pictures. At least I had this though!

I’m getting fed up with living in Korea. Even with having a three bedroom apartment, our place it TOO small with a toddler running around. Basically we live in a giant square with areas sectioned off for bedrooms. We can’t set things up to be very baby proof and even locking the doors, they are so poorly made, that our son can jimmy the knob and open the doors. He gets into the computer and messes with stuff. I know I shouldn’t really be mad at him but I get so aggravated! Some days I wonder if I’m cut out to be a mom. And here, hubby wants a second and THIRD child. I really don’t think this is for me.

I mean, when my kid is being good he’s awesome. He really is a spectacular child. I wouldn’t trade him in for anything. I just get tired of having to tell him no all the time. He knows he shouldn’t do something but does it for attention. But I can’t entertain him ALL day. I need some me time too. I’m always available to him but he just wants all of me all the time.

Me and The Wiggles, anyway.



{June 22, 2009}   Distant



75/365 What Is My Line?

Originally uploaded by cognitive.distortion

I’m really not sure why I love my bathroom tile so much. It isn’t anything that spectacular and it gets dirty so quickly. I hate having to wash it and it even has a gritty texture to it.

But I love the color in it.

The weekend was a busy one. We ended up going to the pool for Father’s Day and David and Bradley had fun playing and going down the water slides. Bradley was so tired come the end of our day there that he was asleep before we left the parking lot. Once the a/c hit him the purr of the car just knocked him out.

David was nice enough to BBQ steak on his special day and we were entertained by The Wiggles for the evening while Bradley danced away. There is no way I could tolerate those fruity guys if it weren’t for my son dancing to them and trying to sing along. It makes the torture worth it.

So we called family today and the first thing they ask us about is North Korea shipping over toward Hawaii. Honestly, this was the first I had heard about it. How is it that being so close to “the enemy” I’m so clueless about everything? I figure, if there was a real threat to me that the military would ship me home ASAP. But it really baffles me how out of touch I am over here in Korea.



{June 20, 2009}   Against Better Judgement…

I’m starting the blog.  I was encouraged and intrigued by a friend starting her own blog and so here I am.  Blog created.  Being my first post, I’ve no idea what to write.  Perhaps a simple statement as to WHY I’m starting this would be a good start.

I’m dissatisfied.  I used to be content with my simple existence of being a housewife.  Well, let me clarify.  I wasn’t always a housewife.  I used to have a full time job.  A career.  I worked in an allergy clinic as a nurse.  And then my husband received orders to be stationed in Korea.  When we discovered I was pregnant I was soon to follow him to the other side of the world so we could have our family together.  Sadly, a job was not readily available for me since the hospital on post saves their nursing positions for Korean nationals.  After a discussion we decided that I should be home to raise our son for the first few years of his life verses allowing a day center to do this.  I was elated at the time that I’d get this opportunity.

It wasn’t until recently that I became discouraged with this.  Certainly, being home has been the best thing for my son but has it been the best thing for me?  Where do I fit into this equation?  At first I thought that hobbies were the answer.  I decided I was going to relearn guitar.  Too shortly after that I discovered the joys of digital photography and this was, by far, much easier than the guitar.  And addicting.  I was taking pictures of EVERYTHING.  I still do.  But my poor guitar is simply sitting in a closet and gathering dust.  It’s a shame since I still want to learn.  Perhaps when I get to the states I’ll find someone to help me learn vs. doing it on my own.  Self learning has never been my forte when it comes to things such as that.

I’m ready to return back the the USA and start back at a semblance of my old life.  Granted, nothing will ever be the same since I now have a child.    I don’t feel that working full time and leaving my sons in the capable hands of a day center is right either.  Hopefully I’ll be able to find part time work for myself.  I plan to get a Georgia or Alabama nursing license and apply to allergy clinics off post.  With two years experiance under the proverbial belt I should be a shoo in for a civilian clinic.  Less training needed.  I know the injections.  I know the testing.  I’d have excellent references.

I miss the satisfaction that comes with holding a job and earning a paycheck.  Ever since high school I’ve always held some sort of a job.  This has been hard on me.  And being home with my son hasn’t been friendly to my waistline.  I go to the gym but it doesn’t seem to help that much.  I get discouraged and give up too easily on things.  This is something I know I need to work on.

Right. I’m going to stop here for now.  I’ve gone and on when I wasn’t even sure what to write.  Funny how things start to pour out once you get going.



et cetera