"Musings and Ramblings of A Convoluted Mind"

{December 15, 2009}   Lily White?

“To Thine Own Self Be True.”

– Shakespeare (Hamlet)

I was talking with a friend the other day and she told me she had to tell a “white lie” to her husband.  She said if was for his own good, because the truth about something would have hurt him.  It isn’t my business to discuss the nature of that lie, but I will touch on this subject in general.

So is it okay to tell a small lie to a person if it is to protect them?  Like, you found out their friend was talking about them behind their back but you deny that knowledge?  Or maybe you broke something that someone treasured and then decide to cover it up?  Is there such a thing as a protective lie or are the all damaging in the end?

Sure, we all do it occasionally.  We all hide things.  That’s simply human nature and really, there is no way around it.  People are secretive.  We like privacy.  But if it is intentional, doesn’t that make it worse?  We hide things around the holidays because we don’t want people to know what we get them for a present.  But where do you draw the line of a white lie to a blatant lie?  What about a lie of omission?  Simply ignoring something or leaving out information to save our own butts?   In my experience, the truth always comes out and when it does…. that’s just a shit storm you don’t want to get involved in.

So are we only lying to ourselves when we pretend it is okay to lie to protect someone?


This morning has largely been devoted to taking pictures of my son and editing them so as to print and place them into Christmas cards.

Thing is… I am having a hard time choosing what image to use!  I could reshoot… but honestly, taking pictures of a toddler is a little frustrating and the lighting in my living room is poor so it results in blurry photos.  Factor in that my child can’t sit still for longer that two seconds and you get a real mess.  I should be glad he at least left the Santa hat on.  (Still a little crank and amused that he wouldn’t hold his stuffed penguin right side up.  I’d fix it but by the time I set up to take a shot the penguin was feet side up again…)

Let me start by posting the original images:

Pose One – Original Shot

Pose Two – Original Shot

Pose Three – Original Shot

Now onto the processed images.  I’m going to cull out the shots that wouldn’t print well simply because there would be far too many images to post.  Sad, because they are all cute but you get to see the original cuteness above.

Let’s call this “Option A”.  Two actions used here.  I’m tempted to try these actions on the smiling     picture of my son.

This is going to be Option C.  Adjusting the light would help this image, otherwise I think it will be unprintable.

To keep in tune with my Flickr account, we’re going to call this option D.

Option G.  Something about the softness in the shot hits me.  But I’m not sure this one is really in the running.

Okay… so, in a comment I would love to hear what people think.  If there is an original you’d like to see processed in another fashion, let me know that too.  Thanks all!!!

{June 20, 2009}   Against Better Judgement…

I’m starting the blog.  I was encouraged and intrigued by a friend starting her own blog and so here I am.  Blog created.  Being my first post, I’ve no idea what to write.  Perhaps a simple statement as to WHY I’m starting this would be a good start.

I’m dissatisfied.  I used to be content with my simple existence of being a housewife.  Well, let me clarify.  I wasn’t always a housewife.  I used to have a full time job.  A career.  I worked in an allergy clinic as a nurse.  And then my husband received orders to be stationed in Korea.  When we discovered I was pregnant I was soon to follow him to the other side of the world so we could have our family together.  Sadly, a job was not readily available for me since the hospital on post saves their nursing positions for Korean nationals.  After a discussion we decided that I should be home to raise our son for the first few years of his life verses allowing a day center to do this.  I was elated at the time that I’d get this opportunity.

It wasn’t until recently that I became discouraged with this.  Certainly, being home has been the best thing for my son but has it been the best thing for me?  Where do I fit into this equation?  At first I thought that hobbies were the answer.  I decided I was going to relearn guitar.  Too shortly after that I discovered the joys of digital photography and this was, by far, much easier than the guitar.  And addicting.  I was taking pictures of EVERYTHING.  I still do.  But my poor guitar is simply sitting in a closet and gathering dust.  It’s a shame since I still want to learn.  Perhaps when I get to the states I’ll find someone to help me learn vs. doing it on my own.  Self learning has never been my forte when it comes to things such as that.

I’m ready to return back the the USA and start back at a semblance of my old life.  Granted, nothing will ever be the same since I now have a child.    I don’t feel that working full time and leaving my sons in the capable hands of a day center is right either.  Hopefully I’ll be able to find part time work for myself.  I plan to get a Georgia or Alabama nursing license and apply to allergy clinics off post.  With two years experiance under the proverbial belt I should be a shoo in for a civilian clinic.  Less training needed.  I know the injections.  I know the testing.  I’d have excellent references.

I miss the satisfaction that comes with holding a job and earning a paycheck.  Ever since high school I’ve always held some sort of a job.  This has been hard on me.  And being home with my son hasn’t been friendly to my waistline.  I go to the gym but it doesn’t seem to help that much.  I get discouraged and give up too easily on things.  This is something I know I need to work on.

Right. I’m going to stop here for now.  I’ve gone and on when I wasn’t even sure what to write.  Funny how things start to pour out once you get going.

et cetera