"Musings and Ramblings of A Convoluted Mind"











{April 12, 2010}   On: Difficult Decisions

Recently I’ve been faced with making some difficult choices in my life. When to speak up. When to hold back. When to try again. When to cut ties and when to  start over. Readers know that making choices is not an easy task for me. I over think. I dwell. I second guess. All these things play a major part in my decision process but ultimately they hinder my ability to feel safe in my choices in life. Occasionally there are the choices that require no thought at all – the decisions that are made with the heart. Rash emotional decisions. I’ve come to learn that these decisions often end up hurting. And they don’t just hurt me but those around me as well. I try to avoid making these choices as much as possible. But sometimes they are hard to avoid.

I hurt a friend. My emotions played a large part in the thought process this past week.  It makes me wonder if I was too quick to come to a conclusion.  But this is a decision that I have to live with and one that I need to have faith in.  It might not be the right decision or maybe it is.  Without a crystal or magic eight ball I have no way to know this right now.

Earlier this year I said that I wanted to achieve Balance in my life.  I have to believe that this is one step closer to achieving that Balance.  But faith in something doesn’t make the reality of the situation any easier or less painful.  I guess that just takes time.

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Ari says:

Decisions suck, you know how I feel about them.

Yeah, you did hurt me, when you quit texting me like you used to. I’ve missed you and it hurt… oh wait, you’re not talking about me. Ummm… I don’t know, I think it sounds like the best thing. Maybe. I dunno, decisions sucks.



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